Freelance beta reader report examples
Here are examples of my freelance beta reader reports, which I provide for novels across all genres.
This is a sample beta reader report for an unpublished psychological thriller novel, with character names altered to protect the author's story and identity.
Overall thoughts:
Firstly, I want to express how much I enjoyed this book. It didn’t feel like an average beta read, but rather like I was reading an already published novel.
This book reminded me of The Writing Retreat by Julia Bartz; it had similar themes of a group being trapped in a historic building and not knowing who to trust. I think fans of that book will thoroughly enjoy your novel. Please see my beta reader report below, I have broken it down as best I can into categories for ease.
Characters:
Overall, I thought the characters were well developed and detailed. I enjoyed reading from Isabelle’s perspective, she was strong, independent, and intelligent. I think readers will love reading about a brave, fearless woman! I found the subtle mentions of Isabelle’s past intriguing throughout, and I was eager to learn what she was hiding. Similarly, I found Zoe’s story very interesting. I liked how the reader is led to believe that the mysterious person holding the guests hostage is trying to make Zoe confess to accidentally killing her child.
However, I felt that Lucas’s personality in the present-day chapters (before he goes missing) was slightly underdeveloped. I didn’t like I learned anything about him until the end of the book. I’m not sure if this was an intentional choice, but I feel the reader would benefit from more information about Lucas. Additionally, I felt the reader would have benefited from learning more about Antonia and her background. As she isn’t a main character, I don’t think it's integral, but it may make the story feel more well-rounded.
Setting:
I thought the setting of the castle was great, I love reading stories that take place in isolated historic landmarks. There could have been more description of the setting when the group first arrived at the castle, as I had difficulty picturing its exterior. Additional details would have helped create a stronger atmosphere. It was stated that the iron gates and road leading to the castle were in a state of disrepair, but there was no mention of the castle being in disrepair from the outside. I thought this was a little inconsistent throughout the book, as it was later revealed that the castle was unoccupied until Olivia and Lucas fixed it up for their plan, so it is likely that the outside of the castle would still be in a state of disrepair. As they approach the castle, perhaps Isabelle could comment on how disheveled it appears from the outside, questioning whether they should have even considered staying there in the first place. This would enhance the sense of unease for the reader and align with more traditional horror descriptions. I enjoyed the descriptions of the castle's interior, particularly how each room had a flower theme. This unique idea helped me to visualize the rooms and was a nice addition to the story.
Plot:
I thought the plot resolution was very clever and satisfying for the reader. The plot wasn’t too complex, and by the end of the book it all came together nicely. Most of the questions I had throughout were answered by the end (which I imagine is hard to achieve when writing a thriller). When Lucas went missing, I had a theory that he was involved in holding the others in the castle, so I can’t say I was overly shocked when this was revealed. However, I couldn’t guess his motive for doing so, only that it must be connected to Isabelle’s past actions. The reveal of his motive was satisfying for me to read. The pacing of the story was strong throughout, and I appreciated the suspense of not knowing who to trust. The unreliable narrator trope, woven into each character’s perspective, added an intriguing layer to the narrative.
At the start of the novel, I did wonder if something supernatural was happening, since Olivia insisted that Isabelle or someone else had pushed her down the stairs, despite the reader knowing this was not true. I liked how the characters' theories about ghosts makes the reader question where the story is going. I think the reader would benefit from understanding why Olivia claims that Isabelle pushed her down the stairs, as I don't think Isabelle's motive from Olivia's perspective was fully revealed. Was this to make the others in the group question Isabelle’s motives and integrity? I would have liked a sentence explaining this from Olivia’s perspective in the chapter where we learn that she is in on the plan, perhaps a bit sooner than it is actually revealed.
I thought it was slightly strange that Olivia didn’t react more extremely to Lucas going missing. Upon further reading, I realized this was because she was in on the plan from the start, but on reflection, I think it would be beneficial to the story for her lack of worry to evoke suspicion in the other women in the group. They are all so suspicious of each other throughout, so it seems strange that this lack of concern would go unnoticed/unmentioned by the other women.
Additionally, I would have liked a little more explanation of Olivia and Lucas’s plan. How long had they been planning this? When did Olivia reveal to Lucas who she was? Lucas seems unphased that Isabelle killed Olivia, which left me questioning if he and Olivia truly loved each other and if their engagement was real, or if they were just helping each other to get revenge on Isabelle. I enjoyed the reveal that Zoe had paid Jack to kill her ex-husband, this was a small plot twist that I didn’t see coming and I thought it neatly revealed what kind of a person Jack really was.
I think you did an amazing job of making the reader feel empathy for each character. In each scenario you can see why each character behaved in the way that they did both in the past and the present. Though Olivia and Lucas’s actions are extreme, I empathized with the life that Olivia had in foster care as a result of Isabelle’s behaviour and therefore understood her motives. I did think it was a bit unusual that Olivia could be in a relationship with Lucas, considering they had grown up together for a time as stepsiblings. When this information is revealed to the reader, it may be beneficial to acknowledge that this is a strange relationship, but it must be this way for them to reach Isabelle.
I understood why Olivia wanted revenge, but I found it a little harder to understand how Lucas could do such things to his own sister, especially because the descriptions of him as a child made him seem like such a kind, good person. I think there could have been perhaps a little more exploration of why he needed to seek revenge against Isabelle, as there was a bit of a disconnect between his actions and the way his personality was portrayed in the chapters occurring in the past. I concluded that he had such a hatred for her because she turned his life upside down, and he couldn’t forgive her, but if this is the case, it may be worth making this a little more explicit to the reader. It is stated that he blames Isabelle for their mother's passing, and I think this is a good contributing factor to seeking revenge, but I feel like there needs to be a little more explanation for his motives other than Isabelle being their mother’s favourite. Further to this point, I didn’t feel that Lucas’s claims of Isabelle being their mother’s favourite child were reflected in the chapters occurring in the past. In these chapters, it seemed as though Isabelle and her mother had a very strained relationship. For this reason, it was hard for me to believe that their mother left such a large percentage of her inheritance to Isabelle and did not split this more equally, as she read as a mother who loved her children equally. I think Lucas’s motives would have made more sense if instead of focusing so much on the money, there was more exploration of his life after his sister was sent to prison for murder, and the shame and attention this brought to their family.
Overall, I found the story very captivating and extremely well-written. With a few tweaks to the story/descriptions, I think this book will sell well and psychological thriller readers will love it! It was a pleasure to read, and I thank you for the opportunity. I hope some of my comments are helpful.
Beta Read Report (Sample 1)
Spy Thriller Novel
This is a sample beta reader report for an unpublished spy thriller novel, with character names altered to protect the author's story and identity.
General feedback:
Firstly, I want to thank you for the opportunity to work with you and read your novel, I appreciate how scary it can be to put your work out there to be read and critiqued by others.
Wow, this book was awesome! I really enjoyed your novel; it's a remarkable achievement for a first draft. I was fully invested throughout, and the fast-paced plot kept the story exciting. I hope some of my comments are helpful to you. Please know that my critiques are intended solely to help you improve the story. I hope this feedback gives you some useful pointers and gives insight into how your book is experienced by a first-time reader.
This story felt very unique, and the subject matter is something that I haven’t read about before. The setting was distinctive, and the plot was super exciting. Overall, I think this is a fabulous story that has the potential to be enjoyed by many readers! I don’t usually read spy novels, so this book was a little out of my comfort zone, but I’m so glad I had the opportunity to read it. I believe anyone who enjoys the general thriller genre will enjoy this fast-paced, action-packed novel.
Specific feedback:
I noticed at the beginning of the novel the reader is presented with a lot of details that feel slightly irrelevant. For example, the reader doesn’t really need to know the exact time unless it is relevant to the story. There are several references to specific times at the beginning of the novel, but they don’t add much for the reader, such as ‘no less than half a minute later at ten past ten.’ For me, this level of detail feels unnecessary; simply saying ‘no less than 30 seconds later’ would suffice.
In the introduction to the story, the way information is presented feels somewhat unnatural. It comes across more as an information dump than a subtle explanation, for example: ‘The G-Section was a classified division in the HFA specializing in covert and clandestine operations. The agents of the section were trusted with carrying out anything from spying to sabotage and counterespionage, counterterrorism and supporting stability overseas to disrupt terrorism, as well as general criminal activities. All of this was accomplished with the assistance of what amounted to, in layman’s terms, a license to kill, as found in Section 7 of the Intelligence and Security Act.’
This section has a more informational tone, similar to that of a textbook. Instead of explaining this so directly to the reader, I wonder if some of this information can be incorporated into dialogue to make it more accessible. Perhaps Tony could explain the G-Section and the job roles to a new employee, to provide the reader with the relevant information in a more natural way.
One of the biggest improvements I would suggest for this story is elaborating on the descriptions of the national park in South Africa. This is such an amazing and unique place to base a novel, but I didn’t feel as though I could really picture the park/landscape itself. With such an incredible setting, I would expect vivid descriptions of the landscape. This could be achieved through explaining everything that the main character can see, hear, and even smell. For me, the setting descriptions were not very visceral. Spending more time describing the setting will make its uniqueness a real selling point of the novel. Readers want to feel as if they are there themselves! I found the descriptions of Las Vegas to be more detailed, allowing me to vividly picture the Vegas Strip and feel the atmosphere through the page. This made the scene easier to visualize, as it provided rich details of everything Riley saw and his emotions about his surroundings.
Additionally, I felt somewhat disconnected from the characters throughout. Unfortunately, I did not feel very attached to any of them. I feel this is because the novel didn’t provide much of a back story on any of the characters. I appreciate this is a plot-driven book and may not be primarily focused on the characters. However, deeper character development is important for the reader to be even more invested in the high-stakes plot.
For example, we do not learn anything about Riley’s family, anyone he loves, or anyone who is important to him. I appreciate he does not have a significant other, and I don’t think this is important, but I feel the reader would connect with him more if they got to see more of his human/compassionate side. We see a glimpse of his compassionate side in his interactions with Amy, but I was left questioning whether he had any connections to anyone outside of work, and what motivates him in life. Learning a little about his personal life will make the reader feel more connected to Riley. When Riley is struggling in the Kensington warehouse fire, he has visions of his family and most treasured loved ones, but this is the first time they are mentioned (almost at the end of the novel), and we do not learn who those people are. Even if Riley truly has no one he loves or relies on in his personal life, exploring this more deeply with the reader would enhance the reading experience. It would likely create greater empathy for Riley and make readers root for him even more.
I was shocked and saddened by Kumo’s death, as I’m sure was the intention. However, I feel this would have had more of an impact if the reader was given a little more information about his background. We learn that he has a family at home, but we don’t know anything else about him outside of work. As he was one of the main characters in the camp chapters, I really wanted to know more about him. What were his motivations in life? Why did he do such a dangerous job with a family at home? Did he do the job to provide for his family, or because of his passion for the animals? How did his family feel about his job? What came of them when he sadly passed away?
I thought the descriptions of the villains in this story, particularly Rocco, were very well done. It was easy to instantly dislike these characters, and I really got a feel for what kind of people they were. This made their eventual demise extra satisfying for the reader.
The ending and resolution of this story were strong. It was very satisfying that Riley was able to trick the enemy and work against them right under their noses. It is enjoyable for the reader that all the villains received their comeuppance, and in quite brutal ways! I appreciated Riley’s intellect and his ability to get out of almost any situation, it is refreshing to read about a character who has novel ideas and thinks things through without blindly heading into dangerous situations.
I appreciated the omission of the gruesome details about how the rhinos are poached in the story. Even as an avid horror and thriller reader, I’m not comfortable with any form of animal abuse, and I know many readers feel the same way. I think it was a thoughtful decision to leave those details out.
The book could benefit from thorough proofreading once the final draft is complete. Some common errors I noticed include the overuse of commas, which results in long sentences, as well as some word usage errors and some spelling mistakes throughout.
Overall, I thought the story was captivating and very well written. I think with some revisions and tweaking, this book will be successful, and readers will love it! It was a pleasure to read, and I thank you for the opportunity.
- Some small details I noticed throughout that left me with questions:
- Would Amy have seen the attacker's tattoo in so much detail that she could read it in such a stressful/traumatic situation, and then be able to recreate it in a drawing in such detail?
- I was confused by Chapter 15 when Fred Riley receives his new 'Fred Newton' identity, as he is only referred to as 'Newton' in that chapter. I think it's important to clarify to the reader that this is Fred Riley assuming a new identity, as this is only confirmed in the next chapter. Without this clarification, I initially thought Newton was an entirely new character.
- Riley seemed a little too relaxed about working for Ademi. I understand Riley is tough and has been on many assignments before, but it felt a little unrealistic that he wouldn’t be a little worried about being recognized in such a dangerous situation. Riley might feel more human and relatable to the reader if he expresses doubts or concerns about switching to the enemy's team. In the chapter where Riley searches Rocco’s office, it was unclear where Riley was in relation to Rocco and how he remained unseen. Clarifying the layout of the rooms and his exact position at the time of Rocco’s return would make the scene easier to visualize.
- Riley meets with Gary in his hotel room to discuss gaining access to the plaques, but the reader is previously informed that Riley’s room is full of microphones. If this is the case, how were they able to have this discussion without being listened to? Could they meet elsewhere to avoid this?
- I found it strange that Tara and Riley’s plan left Riley alone in the warehouse with Rocco and his crew, especially after it was revealed that Riley was a British spy and had tricked Rocco into betraying his own allies. Wouldn’t they have come up with an escape plan for Riley or arranged some backup for him? Is it realistic that Riley would be staying at the hospital for only one night if he had suffered internal bleeding and had been through a major surgery?
Overall, I thought the story was captivating and very well written. I think with some revisions and tweaking, this book will be successful, and readers will love it! It was a pleasure to read, and I thank you for the opportunity.
Beta Read Report (Sample 2)
Psychological Thriller Novel